Foster's 7th!

May I just say that I CANNOT believe that Foster is seven?! It seriously seems like only a couple of months ago that we (very surprisingly) found out we were expecting him. I know it is very cliche to say, but I do NOT know where the time has gone! He is such a funny kid. Since moving here he has turned "ghetto" and likes to beat-box and has his own signature hand jives that go along with said beat. One of my favorite little stories about Foster's ghetto-ness was when we were playing Rock Band at our friends' house. Foster was on the drums, Maya on guitar, and Jon was on vocals. When they failed their round, Foster said: "Oh yeeeee-ah. Dat's how we roll." So funny. Not sure he even realized that they weren't good. He gets into his share of trouble but he is so freaking hilarious about it that it is often hard to dish out his discipline with a straight face. On the way home from church the other day, he was acting sad. He said that he had fought with his "best friend" and that they were no longer best friends. I told him that he needed to work on forgiving his former BFF and to move on. He said: " You mean my BFFL." I asked him what this was and he said: "Best Friend Forever.... Lies." What a girl.

Anyway, here are some of the highlights of his special day.

It is our tradition to do breakfast in bed. Here is his tasty breakfast of (as requested) donuts.

I asked Foster what he wanted to do for his birthday dinner. At first he said that he wanted to do Sonic. Jon, in all of his cheap glory, was thrilled with this option. I, however, was not. I told him to think of something even yummier (if this is even possible.) Of course, McDonald's came up next. Finally he decided on IHOP and at the last minute changed his mind to Gator Cove. Ryan, Tanya, Merrit, and McCord met us there and were very good sports about Foster's chosen location. (Tanya is NOT a seafood girl.)

Our boy loves him some crawfish! This night they made them SOOOOO spicy. All of our mouths were flaming hot. This is Foster's disgusting attempt to put out the fire. Dipping his napkin in root beer and sucking on it. Ew. All in the name of birthday memories.

After dinner, we came back to our house for presents and cake and ice cream.

I love this picture. I think his face says it all! What a fun day!

Boxed in

So, in a previous post I shared one of my most prized mothering tools, that of the use of the laundry basket a.k.a. "Mother's 'Lil Helper". I have not abandoned this useful item but the laundry basket's thirty pound capacity just wasn't cutting it for me. I needed something that could comfortably contain at least ninety pounds of crazy kids. Found it.

This box kept Ella and Foster happy for, literally, two hours. I threw in a baggie of snacks, some crayons, the aforementioned children, and a phone with the numbers 1 and 9 removed from the keypad, and they had a great time. It makes me feel really happy inside that I can provide this nurturing service for my kids. In my mind it is almost like being back in the womb for them. They were in a tight little space and they heard their loving mother's snores as she slept peacefully. The only difference is that they got to wear clothes this time around. Sadly, this was a one time babysitter. When Foster was ready to get out, rather than calling out that he had had enough he decided to go all Dwight on the box and this was the result:

(Or as this was a womb-like experience, maybe I should say that he was more vampire-baby-like in his attempt to escape.)

I have yet to find a more durable substitute, but this was fun while it lasted. I am on the prowl for something that can hold upto 250 pounds so that I can start an in-home daycare. I will be sure to keep you updated on my new business plan.

As promised, here are the results to "The Santa Strategies."

We went over to Ryan and Tanya's house for Christmas Eve. We had yummy food, a fab program, and a great time. Have I mentioned how much we LOVE that they live here? We do!

Here are the kids waiting to open their one Christmas Eve present. (It is our tradition that the kids get to open their present from their Daddy Christmas Eve. Always p.j.'s. Of course this is so they will be looking cute in the morning in new ones instead of the old raggedy ones that they wear the rest of the year. Who wants reality on Christmas?) Merrit is still wearing her costume from the program. Obviously, she played the part of the camel.

Ta-da! All ready to be adorable come morning time.

It is a little known fact that the reindeer need a little enticement to stop. Foster doing his part by sprinkling reindeer food on our front lawn:

And Maya doing hers:

We moved to this house in December of 2006. I am not ashamed to admit that one of my biggest objections to this house is that the kids' bedrooms are all upstairs and the master is downstairs, raising the quandry of what to do Christmas morning? I didn't want them to see their presents before I was there to capture the moment forever on camera. (Also, I didn't want them to get distracted by said presents on their way to my bedroom at 3am.) The solution: Wrap them up in their room. This has become our tradition since then and is one that will probably continue on in whatever house we live in the future. Not only do we get to be there for the big reveal, but we can easily put off the kids until we are ready to get up. It was Ella's turn this year to play hostess in her room. I wish we had recorded this so that you could hear the audio. It was hysterical. They were sooooooo excited and Jon and I were having sooooooo much fun prolonging their agony.

This is what they do when they are given the green light: (Ella hung back while the dust and paper settled.)

If you look very closely, you can see a smidgen of all three kids racing downstairs to see what was in store for them. I use the word "racing" loosely. Perhaps you can tell by the annoyed expression on Foster's face that he was impatiently keeping pace behind Ella. We make them come down youngest to oldest. Another way that Jon and I enjoy messing with our offspring.

Ella's haul: She loves pretend play and being a "mommy" so Santa thought this would fit the bill. It has become a common sight to see Ella with her new baby (obviously adopted.) Strangely enough, it smells like vanilla.

Foster requested "real-live spy gear because elves are the ultimate spies and probably have really great stuff." It must be said that his stuff is the most fun for kids and adults to play with. Santa had a great time positioning his stuff just so, so that when Foster came down and crossed the laser, an alarm sounded and he was shot with foam darts. One of the other things he got is a remote control car that has a microphone built in and an earpiece that the spy gets to listen in on. It would work great if not for the giggling that always precedes an "attack."

Maya's "surprise", as requested. Her main thing is a digital camera. She has had a great time taking pics of not people, but anything nature. She also got a Planet Earth DVD game from my parents and has really enjoyed learning about animals and their habitats. She is and always has been such an animal lover and earth protector. I am sure she will grow up to be some liberal environmentalist with no chidren, but ten thousand pets.

Maya also got a High School Musical 3 dance mat also from G-ma and G-pa Foster. Ella was very inspired by the sweet music and dancing and had to get down with Vanilla and Barbie (of course, wearing nothing but her tutu from cousin David.)

Wearing their Christmas finery:

Another thing Maya got was a nail kit and book from G-ma Sue and G-pa Carson. It took me 45 minutes to paint these cute ladybugs and Maya five minutes to peel them off. Reguardless, both girls have had fun with this one.

These last two pics were uploaded backwards but, whatever. Here is Jon solving the Rubix cube that Foster got in his stocking. I think this is actually illegal, so please, no one report this.

Foster attempting to do it before handing it off to Dad.

The Foster's came over to our house for Christmas dinner and then we went to a movie and came back here for games. It was a great day!

We had such a fun Christmas that I have been in mourning ever since it ended. This is my excuse for not blogging about it sooner. I felt it would be admitting defeat that Christmas really is over to do it any sooner. I just barely finished taking down everything Christmas yesterday. Despite my sadness before doing it, I love the way the house now feels so clean without all of it!

Santa Claus...what valuable life skills are they really learning?

So this post is an in depth analysis of what exactly our children are learning from Santa Claus. Please don't get the wrong impression and immediately quit reading this post. This is not one of those Communist "Let's get rid of Santa and remember the true meaning of Christmas, bla, bla, bla" posts, but rather a "What approach really works to maximize presents while minimizing the potential of coal?" post. Read on:

So, here is our eldest child doing that which she has been doing for the past eight Christmases. I am pleased to announce that she has learned the art of "Santa Manipulation." When asked what she wants for Christmas, she sweetly replies: "Oh...I don't know. I have been so richly blessed and while I have been a VERY good girl, I just want to make sure that all of the less-fortunate girls and boys receive something before I do. I guess if you really insist on bringing me something, I will just leave it up to you as to what that will be." Of course the object here is to not limit herself to only one request, but to maximize on Santa's elfish heartstrings and receive the "mother-load." (Read "Sleigh-Load.") Works every time. (Her wardrobe choice also helps. She had just finished participating in the ward Christmas pageant as an angel. She was given the option to change her clothes. She declined. All part of her diabolical design.)

Foster has come a long way from the terrified, stuttering pre-schooler of Christmases past when placed onto Santa's lap. He has learned to be brief, concise, and to the point. Why beat around the bush? Neither he nor Santa is there for a lengthy conversation about his (Foster's) many exploits of the previous year. So he had a couple of recess detentions. Why split hairs? Confession may be good for the soul, but it is terrible for the stocking. Just get to the point and put in the request and not bore the old man. This strategy, too, works.

Aaaaah. Our newest requester. The two year old. So, up to this point in her short life, I have been instilling the importance of "Stranger Awareness." This is the only time of the year that she is encouraged to sit on the lap of an overweight, bearded white guy offering her candy (who, coincidentally, describes every level 3 sex offender in the state.) While this proved to be very confusing to her, she was able to develop her own scheme that, I hope, will evolve into something much quieter next year. Ella's strategy was, of course, panic. Scream, cry, kick, and cling to your mother. If done properly, not only do you get to escape the creepy guy's lap, but they thrust candy on you to shut you down.

I wish that you could see more of Santa's face in this pic. He was pretty much ecstatic to see this coming at him: (I'm equally excited to be included in the photo.)

And here is the after. Don't you love the pleased-with-herself-that-at-least-she-got-candy-laugh/cry? So she was slightly traumatized. It was all done in the name of Christmas joy.

Merrit, Ella, and their friend watching the "Santa Show" while munching on the fruits of their labor.

Conclusion:

Three different children. Three very different strategies. Stay tuned for the next post to see how it worked out for them.

Feel free to share your experience with proven successful strategies. (Or failed ones for that matter.)

Hell has frozen over

...Or at least Louisiana has (frozen over, that is.) It has been REALLY cold the last few days (which, of course, is totally relative) and we heard that there might even be snow, but didn't believe it. We were woken up this morning to two completely out of their heads excited kids. Here is the dialogue: Foster: "Maya! I can't believe that it actually snowed in the Loo-zi-anna! It has been, like, years!" Maya: "Yes, Foster. The weather patterns are different here than in other parts of the country that we have lived." Ella: "Yeah!" Both back and forth: "Now we can teach all of our friends how to have a snowball fight and make snow-angels at recess." Ella: "Yeah!"

In my pre-six a.m. grumpiness, I told them not to get their hopes up as they cancel recess at school at the slightest threat of moisture.

I think our total accumulation was just over one inch. North of us, they got around three inches and cancelled all public and private schools and shut down the highway due to hazardous conditions from the "blizzard." At first I thought it was crazy, but after driving the kids to school this morning, decided that it was a good idea not because of the slickness of the roads, but because of the idiocy of the drivers being over-cautious to the point of being hazardous. Yikes.

What is totally crazy to me is that it is supposed to be back in the 70's on Saturday.

Our house in all of it's winter wonderlanded glory.

Three very excited kids. Ella was a little freaked out by it, but made a valiant effort to have fun.

These are a bunch of pictures taken in the recent days and weeks.

Gingerbread House construction. Very tricky. Must be done on Monday evenings while wearing PJ's.

Ta-da! Pride of ownership. I love Foster's smug expression.

So this is the way I see Ella anytime I come at her with a camera. She has turned into such a poser. I have to hide this ballet costume because everytime she sees it, she MUST wear it! At least she conceded this day and let me put it on over her clothes. It was actually the greatest amount of clothes she has worn for the longest amount of time for weeks. She either likes to tear off all of her clothing and just wear a diaper, or the ballet tutu. I get her dressed on average ten times a day. If you are wondering about the laundry basket, I call it Mommy's 'Lil Helper. I just put her in there and she can't get out and she is good for hours on end, or until her diaper starts leaking. It's good for when I want to get out of the house and don't feel like having a two-year-old-tag-along. (I hope you all know I'm just joking about that. I would never leave her in there until her diaper leaks. I just take the diaper off completely and hose her and the basket off when I get home.)

He's the happy elf... One of the many times that I am sooooo glad to be a girl.

So of course these pictures were uploaded backwards but, whatever. On Thanksgiving, the kids made these turkey headbands. This is little McCord (or "Baby Goat" as Ella likes to call him, I think it is her version of "Baby Cord.") My brother Ryan and his family moved here last year and we LOVE having them here! (Baby McCord is there new little guy.)

Ella and cousin Merrit sporting their fetching headgear. Ella adores Merrit and gets so excited anytime she is mentioned.

Our gaggle of turkeys.

7 Things, Cont.

So I am a blogging idiot. I have just learned that while I can only upload 5 pics at a time, I can upload more within the same post. I haven't technically posted in over a year. That is my excuse. If you want to read the 7 things in order, scroll down for the first three and come back to this post. Sorry. Anyway, as I am sure everyone is waiting with baited breath to see what is next, here goes:

4) Designing and re-designing furniture. While I love decorating, I am very cheap and I can never quite find exactly what I want in the store, anyway, so I often make up my own stuff. I designed this and Jon begrudgingly built it for me and it is working out really well for us. It is still in my design plan for him to build three boxes on wheels to go in the cubbies underneath, but he is totally sick of working for me. As he built this over a year ago, I have learned to cope with the baskets. While I really like how this piece turned out, it is sort of a let-down to open it up and expect to see a giant tv inside, only to find our dinky little 27 incher. It is always my secret hope that the sneaky tv-fairies will spirit away our old set in the night and surprise with a beautiful, new, giant one.

5) School Pictures. I hate them. Or rather, they hate me. I always had the same feeling when school picture time would roll around. Excitement that this would be the year that my picture would be so good that the photographer would be forced to use it as an advertisement in all of their brochures and that all of my classmates would beg to have a wallet-sized momento. Maybe I wasn't an attractive enough child. I don't know. Anyway, these hopes were always dashed. I like to think that it wasn't my fault. Maybe it was the parent that volunteered to help with picture day sabotaging me. Using that little black comb to ruin my perfection of a hair-do. Who knows. Be that as it may, I have never taken a good school picture and I am very sad to report that my children are following in my un-photogenic footsteps.

Do you see what I mean about the hair? Even at the tender age of eight, I would not have left the house with a butt-part. Darn you parent helper and your disgusting comb that you used on every child in the class except for your own! How sad for me that I had two attempts in the same photo to get a good one. Sadly serious Jenny just looks really freaked out and smiling Jenny isn't much better.

This is Foster's misguided attempt. At least you don't have to prepay and they give you the proof so you can decide if the picture is worth buying. I like to call this picture "The Jack-O-Lantern." (His real smile is really much cuter!)

Yikes! What can be said? In an attempt to get a smile out of Maya, the photographer inadvertantly frightened away her upper lip. Time to choose my favorite smile. Hmmm, sepia, black and white, or color? So many choices. What to do? I know, save the 50.00 a package and buy none!

6) Hair Product. Love it. Can't get enough of it. Wish I could marry it. And yet, 13 days out of 14 my hair remains in a ponytail.

7) Holiday Decorating. How great is it to have an excuse to decorate every other month? Sorry about the picture quality. A photographer I am not.