Life Lesson #3: Never, never, never tell children that they may turn on the jets in Grandma Foster's tub and then blow dry your hair and put on your makeup and neglect to glance over at said "children." This never turns out well.
Life Lesson #4: Do not trust bored husband with camera. He will not take the world's next "best photo," but will use the camera as his vehicle to rekindle his love of making silly faces when told to "say cheese."
Lfe Lesson #5: Never allow sweet-looking, freshly fed baby to give you a kiss on your forehead. You will not like the results. (Why couldn't she have done it on herself? I was at least showered and dressed for the day while she, obviously, was not.)